about Tinder and guys 


Have you heard a thing called TINDER? It’s a dating app, I tried it a couple of years ago, there was no luck. I was probably too unattractive (read: ugly) or too songong (read: my standard was so high that I rarely ‘swipe right’). Since I returned from my study and positioned in my section now, I have done some self improvement that I had never imagined before. I become more comfortable in my own skin. I wear lipstick (yes, I started wearing makeup when I was almost 30yo! So what?). I become more relax in interacting with people. I learn to joke and I am not offended when some friends tease me. I have grown into a person I like. I am not sure if it’s because of my mini experience living abroad (which helps me become more open to suggestion and people) or because I have persuasive colleagues who help me discover what I like and don’t like about myself. It’s probably a little bit of both. 

Oh well, I digress. So yeah, I try my luck with Tinder again just a couple of weeks ago. I have discovered a confidence like never before (hmm, it is probably because of my age, I won’t get any younger and I hit the big 3-0 already, so there’s no slacking in finding a partner lol). I go out there, post some wide smiley pictures of mine with a daring red lips. I adjusted my expectation a little bit, I ‘swiped right’ to guys that are not too weird or too fancy. Voila! I’ve got some ‘matches’. Some started the convos, sometimes I started the talk, the rest is simply unresponsive. 

I am not used to having people asking me if I had lunch/dinner or if I had to be careful on my way to work, or another small gesture of attention. I kind of enjoy it although it doesn’t really mean anything considering it comes from a stranger. But I won’t complain. 

I found Tinder to be interesting. I am not expecting too much from this dating app, but the app provides a channel for me to meet new people. I don’t really like meeting new people (except when I am traveling), but I have to step out of my comfort zone (because that’s where the magic happens -or so they said :P) and let people see how awesome I am. Little did people know, I use Tinder as my own social experiment. I learn how to talk differently to different people. I learn how absurd some people can be. I can be flirty or shy or bold or simply be myself. I learn not to take things seriously because some of them just want to have fun! Some of them asked for a hook-up, but some others are pretty serious about finding a spouse. 

In a virtual world, it is difficult to tell if someone is lying. I just go with the flow. I trust my gut. I learn about different characters. Truth is, I am not really interested in guys, some of them are cool and I like them (well, I always like the nerdy type!), but not most of them. I never really know how complicated men’s life are (because I rarely interact with guys, I have zero guy bestfriend). I have some kind of prejudice toward men though. I don’t really trust them. I think most of them are jerks, perverts, liars, stingies. I don’t really know what had happened to me in the past. I seem to be holding a grudge against men. It’s probably because they never liked me back. I dunno! lol

After a (miserably failed) meeting with AW a couple of months ago (which led me to unshare his Path account), I had taken some steps back from the social media. I removed some friends from my Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Path. I had to declutter my feeds from people who would annoy me. Last night, I agreed to meet a Tinder guy, let’s call him ‘funny guy’, he was okay, his teeth was white and adorable (yay to a no-smoking guy)! He told me some of his personal stories, I was all ears. I told him some of my stories as well. I should have been to the gym, but I stayed longer to know him better. We met not far from my office. It was rather an unusual place of meeting though, but we sat down for two hours in a ‘kaki lima’ vendor and really talked. No one was checking his/her phone and it’s awesome. I can see he’s not coming from money, so I am okay with it. But I am not sure where we’ll go from there. There are so many things I haven’t disclosed about myself. And I am sure there are so many things I have yet discover about him. Let that be a mystery to unravel. 
Here’s a perfect quote I heard from Sam Swarek and McNally (Yes, I am a Rookie Blue fan) on their wedding day. I think I’d love to find that kind of person.

I Samuel Jay Swarek, take you, McNally… Andrea Grace McNally as my lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish… To embrace and to set free. You took a broken man and you made him whole and each day I will be grateful… I am grateful for everything you have given to me. So now I take you my friend… my best friend, my partner, and the love of my life, for better or for worse, for sickness and in health, for now, forever, for always. (Sam)

I had the greatest vows ever and I can’t find them, so, here I am looking at you, and this is what I know. I have loved you since the moment I saw you. Loved you and feared you. Well, not you, but, this. I’ve been terrified to love this profoundly, but not anymore. For good and for bad, for great and for hard, for dreams and for the truth… behind the dreams, I am here. I am yours. Sam Swarek, I choose you. I promise to honor you and cherish you… and while I won’t obey you, per se, I will always hear you and I will keep loving one moment after another, one epiphany at a time. (Andy)

  My Tinder profile 🙈🙊