An open letter to T

I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately, and I know exactly the reason why. For the past weeks, You and I were texting on a ‘pretty regular basis’, which was dangerous and tricky considering how easy it was for me to fall back into you. And yes I was trapped in the same stupid bubble. Early this week, You mentioned about having an accident, whether it was my insensitive comment or you being hard on me (read: being an ass), everything went downhill from then. As expected, you blocked me on social media, phone number, whatsapp, etc, which is totally annoying and sucks! Grow up! I don’t understand your silence. We’re not even in a relationship anymore and I don’t deserve to be treated like that! You need to learn how to communicate your anger better :-/ I do miss many things about you, I miss us, but I have learnt hard way that it’s okay to choose myself. It shouldn’t feel this painful because what we had was in the past, but why does it still hurt? Why do I still care and why do I have to suffer trouble sleeping because of this? I sent two emails and the reply was as cold as I expected it to be. I didn’t reply because I am done trying to fix anything or argue over something I don’t understand. What was my mistake?! Why is it so difficult to talk like an adult?! I can feel that you care (cared) about me, otherwise you won’t be pissed off about what I said (or didn’t say), but I can never read you. You’re still the biggest mystery, but I won’t try to solve you anymore. I am not gonna hold on to people, memories or things that only bring tears to my eyes. Enough is enough. I am done. Goodbye, T! Have a beautiful life and good luck finding someone who would put up with all your mind-boggling issues. I tried. You wouldn’t let me in. 


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