Day 4 of 7-Day Writing Challenge | I am frustrated


why

I have this random thought. I keep on wondering, it might have been easier to ask a girl out if I were a guy. I am saying this because as a girl I feel there are certain limitation I can’t cross. In my culture, it’s uncommon to ask people of the opposite gender to go out. A girl will come across too strong when asking a guy out. And most guys I know don’t like it when a girl come across too strong. So it’s frustrating in my part, I wanna go out with a guy, but I don’t know how to bring myself. It’s exhausting to try to understand the dos and don’ts. I am a newbie! Seriously! And I am too tired of paying attention to people’s feelings but I can’t help it. I am super sensitive that’s why. Point is, why is it so difficult for a girl to really do what she wants? Why there should be culture constraints that stop a girl from doing what she wants because it’s unpopular to do it? Why do I feel like a girl is being put in a passive situation where the only thing she can do is instigating a guy to do something just because it’s good for his ego? Why do I have to be careful not to bruise a male ego? Why do I have to worry too much about not saying the right things? Like I need some kind of approval from people? Why am I afraid to just be myself? Why can’t I ask, ‘what is your intention?‘ since the beginning of an interaction (so I won’t invest my time to the wrong people)? I have always been one who’s straight forward about a situation, I wear my heart on my sleeves. Why can’t you see that I am special in so many ways? Why do I have to wear make-up just to get your attention? Why can’t I be smarter than you? So many questions why?!

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