“The clothes a surgeon wears help to present an image. The lab coats and badges and scrubs… all work together to indicate a person of authority… someone you can trust. When the clothes come off, that’s a different story. We’re sensitive, vulnerable… human… and just as prone to questionable judgment as anybody else. It might be hard for a surgeon to admit… but there’s no shame in simply being human. It can be a relief to stop hiding… to accept who you really are and let the world see you that way, too. A little self-awareness never hurt anybody. Because when you know who you are… it’s easier to know what you’re about… and ultimately… what you really need.”

(Meredith Grey)

Love the one you’re with

Woke up at 3.30am, can’t sleep anymore. Watched the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy last night, Love the One You’re with. It made me reflect to some stories of my life, well one particular story actually. I love the person I was with, I really do, I still do and it makes me cry every time I remember T. The pain is still fresh and it often caught me off guard, just like now. I end up being with myself now, so I guess the title is still valid; I should love the one I am with; my own self. I  am not with anybody, there’s just me, so I have to love myself. Anyway, Calzona scenes are heartbreaking. Maybe Arizona finally sees a glimpse of Callie’s feeling in that shower scene, how it hurts her too even though she’s not the one losing leg. Bailey and Webber scene is great, I can relate to it.

You know what happens when someone lets go of your hand? You get it back. It’s a good thing. You know, interns let go, and… Tuck let go and even Ben let go. And they’re all still there. They all still love you. But it means you get your hand back. It means you have time… not to wash the dishes… To do something with, to get out there, to find diseases to cure, to take it to the next level. Hell, uh, it means invent the Bailey method. But you gotta get out there, do something. And don’t look back. (Dr. Richard Webber -Grey’s Anatomy)

Maybe it’s not bad at all to ‘get my hand back’, it hurts because it’s real, but maybe the pain will subside. November is coming. It will probably be the climax of the pain when all memories just rush back in. Oh well, let’s not jump to November yet, one assignment left and it’s due in 3 days :p I am freaking out. This will definitely distract me!

New Grey’s Anatomy Season 9 Photos

It’s been a while since we see the casts of Grey’s Anatomy take a photo session, so I am so excited when I see this posters. So, the new season 9 is here. Two amazing episodes so far. I am amazed at how Shonda and the writers bring the story. I am an emotional wreck. A month before the new season aired, I was re-waching the first season of Grey’s Anatomy, the surgeons were so young, so reckless. They made mistakes, they learned from it. It’s almost 8 years since it first aired in 2005. I am a fan of the series since 2009 although I have seen it before the year. I remember my friend asks me if the series over. She wants to know what will my reaction be. I still have no answer for that question.

I cried when George was hit by a bus and Izzie decided to leave the show. I was angry when Arizona flee to Africa, I feel betrayed. I was upset when Callie was pregnant with Mark’s baby. I cursed Meredith for her twisted minds. I adore Lexie and envy her photographic memory. I enjoy witty Bailey. I hate indecisive Derek. Christina and her god complex. I shed tears and mourn for Lexie and Mark. There are so many indescribable emotions when I am watching the show and that what makes me love it. I know some people are bitching about it, but I understand completely. As time goes by, the characters grow on the fans and when they’re written off from the show, there will be disappointment and rage (seriously, you don’t wanna mess up with fangirls!).  I appreciate that Shonda Rhimes addresses so many social issues and wraps it in the story.It’s like voicing the voiceless. I don’t know for sure what’s her agenda is, but she’s trying to make a point. Let me quote her thoughts on Arizona’s missing leg:

It’s a pleasure to get to work with someone (read: Jessica Capshaw) so game for the story. So game for representing things rarely seen on network TV. I love my job. ” – Shonda Rhimes

As much as it’s killing me that Arizona is missing her leg, I am glad she’s alive. She’s married to Callie and they have a daughter (the idea I once opposed, but now I am happy to see mark’s legacy). I will put myself as an empty lid where Shonda and her teams can fill it in with anything. It’s good to have a show you can wait for every week. It feels better to have an army of fans who are ‘having issue determining what’s real and what’s fictitious’ and are willing to discuss the episodes by the end of the week. It feels best to have new friends who understand your obsession to a TV series and the characters. I wish Grey’s Anatomy will not end any time soon and even if it has to end, I hope we get to see happy ending for all the characters. Good bye, Mark and Lexie :'(

They say death is hardest on the living. It’s tough to actually say goodbye. Sometimes it’s impossible. You never really stop feeling the loss. It’s what makes things so bittersweet.” – Meredith Grey

My favorite characters: Dr. Arizona Robbins and Dr. Callie Torres. Sara Ramirez and Jessica Capshaw are terrific!

More surprises are in store for these characters. I hope Alex will find somebody he loves.

I can’t wait to see the house Derek built for Meredith. I hope Christina will come back to SGMW and reconcile with Owen

I miss you already, Dr. Mark Sloan, Dr. Lexie Grey and Dr. Teddy Altman!

It’s bowling, baby!

Random talks after class lead me to a movie and bowling session. It was the last class before semester break. I met my classmate, Khatijia, who shared her happy news. She finally gets her permanent resident card. She was born in Afghanistan. She and her family decided to move out and reside in Melbourne concerning the security issue in their hometown. Most time I am grateful that Indonesia is still a decent place to live; a very rich country with abundant natural resources and beauty. It’s not a perfect place in the world, but at least it is still a good place to have family, raise children, and work. When you are feeling threaten in your  own country, the other things seem secondary. Even Maslow’s hierarchy of needs places ‘safety’ in the second layer after the fulfillment of basic needs (food, water, sex, sleep).  In the absence of physical safety -due to war, people will suffer from trauma or stress. That’s an awful thing. Well, let’s not discuss about it now.

I wanna share my first bowling experience (well, I had a bowling game in Timezone, but this is the ‘real’ bowling game) :D We met Khatija’s cousin at Chadstone. We’d like to watch Resident Evil Retribution that day. Arif bought a large basket of popcorn to enjoy during the movie. It was fun, I love the movie, I was expecting more action, but Milla kicked ass! We got to see Michelle Rodriguez, Sienna Guillory, Boris Kodjoe, and Oded Fehr again. I went home downloading all series of RE afterward! It was already 9pm when we got out of the cinema, Arif offered us one bowling game before we go home. He was asking if I have ever played bowling before, I shook my head. Timezone bowling reminds me of my first date, I remember planning a ‘grand date’ where it involves bowling or mini golfing or rock climbing or simply just running in the beach. Ah, good old days <3

Annisa in action :)

Back to 20 September 2012, we got our bowling shoes and bowling lane. I was nervous, but my friends are very helpful. I remember when Arif carefully instructed us how to choose the right ball and throw the ball straight while experiment different way of throwing it. I never get bowling strike, but I was not bad at all. Well, I missed the pins several time, but that’s okay for a beginner haha

Say ‘Cheese’ :)

Final score! Mine is at the bottom :p

Melbourne Day 72: Getting to know Melbourne from the museum

Going to the city during weekdays has never been my option, well, particularly because of how expensive the transportation might cost. I prefer travel around on weekends because during weekends, we have a flat fare of A$3.30/day, so whether you are using tram, train or bus, Myki will only be charge for that amount. But I have to go to the Consulate General of Indonesia in Queen Road because I have been here for 72 days and I haven’t officially reported my arrival. So yeah, I got out from my flat at 10am and took a 3a tram. I checked my PTV (Public Transport Victoria) Journey Planner already, just to make sure I will halt the tram on the right stop. I found out it took only 25 minutes to KJRI. When I was there, I met my senior back in high school. It was funny because we never really talk, but we are friends on Facebook. So it was a bit awkward when we greeted each other. Well, at least we don’t pretend as if we don’t know each other :p I lodged all my arrival report application to the officer and I left the building in less than an hour.

I don’t feel like going home too soon, so I decided to wander around the city. My friends keep asking me if I can find action figure or stuff related to Superman and Zorro, so I googled a pop culture specialist store, Minotaur. They got pretty awesome stuffs there.

Superman Vinyl and Tumbler

After finding what I was looking for, I walked to check on Sony Center. I was going to buy a camera bag, but I got distracted and almost bought an ipod dock. Sigh,I always.. ALWAYS have a thing about ipod dock. Oh well, so are watch, clock and gadget. Thanks god, I was able to control my compulsive urge to spend before I regret it. I went to Typo and I finally gave in and bought a digital clock! See, I really have a thing about clock :p

Cute stuffs at Typo

The day was bright, I got information from red-jacketed City Ambassadors about Melbourne Museum, so I went to Melbourne Museum. This is something I always admire from Melbourne, the city is very helpful to visitors, road signs are easy to understand and the city have a very well-integrated transportation system. The concession fee for general admission to the museum is free, it is wonderful. They have so many display and it’s all very interactive. I love how they arrange the exhibits in several themed galleries. I imagine the future Museum of Indonesia will be similar like the one in here.

Melbourne Museum

Dinosaur Walk | Science and Life Gallery


Rally for social issues

Rally for social issues

The museum is open from 10 am to 5 pm everyday. I left the museum at 5pm and went to Melbourne Central to watch Taken 2. I love Melbourne on Friday because the stores open longer than 5pm. Before the movie started, I walked around the mall, found a Crumpler store and was wishful to bought its camera bag. 10 % off for student! (Sigh, so tempting, but it’s still too pricey :p). Well, I have to praise my self-control today, I didn’t waste much money on unimportant stuffs. Oh, the movie was disappointing. It was very short, less than 90 minutes, I guess. Silly things happened, I walked inside the cinema and thought I was late because the movie was playing already. I sneaked into the room trying not to disturb those who were watching only to realise that it’s not my movie time. I checked my ticket, apparently, I chose the latter schedule, it was silly. I sat there for 5 minutes and almost spoiled myself with the whole storyline.

I love getting to know Melbourne, but it’s time to explore the other state. This week, I got a surprising news. One of my assignments requires me to keep update with campaign issues. I found a new tourism campaign in Canberra interesting. They have a ‘Human Brochure’ program where people will be selected to promote the city through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media platforms. I hope they get to be a worldwide trending topic.

Canberra’s Tourism Program; Human Brochure

Canberra is away from the popular tourist spots. The city’s design was heavily influenced by significant areas of natural vegetation that have earned Canberra the title of the “bush capital”. I entered the competition not knowing that I will be one of the lucky 500. I haven’t got any briefing related to the news, but I am excited. I am scheduled to come by the end of this month. I hope everything goes as planned. I need to finish all my assignments before that.

Melbourne Day 71: “I’m not moving”

So I am in a melancholic mood now. It’s past midnight, but I am not sleeping already. Two major assignments will due in two weeks. I will have class in the morning, but there are so many things crossing my mind now. I know exactly why I am feeling this way. I am thinking about people in my past, who have touched my life, who have moved on, who are happy with their life. I stumble upon old pictures and videos. When I look back, I notice the change happened in my life. Those small steps really bring me to another point of life. We might do the same thing everyday, we might think that nothing changes, but when we look back, we realize that everything is different. Ah, now I remember my teacher in elementary school taught me about characteristic of living things; they are breathing, eating, growing, sensitive to stimuli and adaptive. We are forced to be adaptive. Isn’t it what’s amazing about human? That we are adaptive to any change. Being adaptive is human nature. But why is it difficult to adapt to the new reality? Why is it so painful to move on? Why is it wearisome to put the past behind? I thought since we are ‘well-equiped’ with the ability to adapt, it will be easier to change, but it’s not. I am trying to make peace with my past. I am struggling to make amend with my life because I want to move on. I want to feel better, but I guess there’s no shortcut in life. So, I’ll just keep on doing what I am doing. Maybe one day, when I look back again, I will see how far I have been from this point of life now.

But cruel are the times when we are traitors
And do not know ourselves, when we hold rumor
From what we fear, yet know not what we fear,
But float upon a wild and violent sea
Each way and move. – Shakespeare