It’s already time to wake up and work but I couldn’t sleep yet. I fell asleep for almost an hour but then I couldn’t close my eyes anymore :-/

I checked my Twitter and found a trending topic about recent coming out of Taylor Lautner. Well, I am not going to comment further about it.

I found another interesting trending topic; #ifihad1wish. I was looking for the perfect tweet to retweet, but too bad I couldn’t find one that fits me tonight.

Some people ask for more wishes. Some ask for better things in 2012, the other ask for being with the one they love meanwhile the rest have different wishes.

I am not asking for more wishes because the point of asking what your wish if you had ONE wish to fulfill is to understand what is someone’s priority and fear in life. Well, at least that’s how I see it.

The first thing crossed my mind was a wish to be with one single name I am in love with right now. But what if the person is not the right one for me? I see that relationships fall apart everytime. I have a couple I adore so much for fulfilling my definition of happiness (they met by accident, fell in love, got married, planned to have kids and live together). But just recently I figured out that even those who are sworn before god to be together until death do them apart still have no guarantee to live happily ever after. Happiness is something we pursue everyday; something we work on.

Is it possible that people fall in love to the wrong person? So what’s God’s point of letting people meet when He will tear them apart? I have some possible answer but we will never know God’s plan unless we see the bigger picture of what is happening. We often able to see it later; when we realize that we were so much better off without them, when there is the right person who has been waiting to fulfill the space, when there are another people that will unleash the better potential of ourselves and make us a much better person than we were, when there are the next person whose intention is nothing but loving us.

What’s worst are not having a chance to see the bigger picture and constantly feeling pity for what has happened, being stuck in the moment and unable to forgive and forget.

To questions so many things and try to find the answers are so much better than feel pity and only ask ‘Why me?’. There’s is no instant answer in anything. Patience is the key element to discover the bigger picture of God’s plan to our life.

I am writing this to remind myself that God is good and when some people left, have faith that there will be more good people to color the days. Disappointment and sadness are temporary. Time will heal anything. Pain is a reminder and an alert for us to be better and treat people better.
So when I was asked to answer #ifihad1wish. I ask for something that is hard for me to do. I wish for the strength to always forgive and forget every wrongdoing.

I wish for that one particular thing in the hope that I will find peace and inner strength. I want to forgive myself and forgive people, forget the bad things and move on with life cus life is not stopping yet.

Live on, Annisa!

Jakarta, Dec 27, 2011


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