.i’m not physically attractive.


Ah, the title sounds so depressing, but I promise this will not be a miserable stories:P I can’t believe it’s almost June! Life passes by so quickly, I am not sure I can catch up. There are so many things I abandoned. Well, one thing actually… It’s my responsibility…  Something I always try to avoid but always run behind me! Ah I’ll just say it. SCHOOL!! Yeah, I abandon my school. Crap… I don’t want to remember about that tonight. So, let’s just try to write something.

Lately, I learned lots of life lessons from those awesome ‘strangers’ I know from Twitter. They really got me thinking about my life and myself! I feel so many kinds of emotions when I deal with them. Despite all the hurts and negative emotions, I know I am learning to be a better person in the end.

Funny how I can feel so connected to them and I almost think that I live in a perfect Twitterworld where everything is so much alike with imaginary world of mine. It’s.really.perfect! Oh well, apart from the whole virtual thingy where people are physically absent.

I know it’s a lil bit crazy, but I love this virtual world where people get the chance to know each other NOT on the matter of physical attraction. I always have issues with self-confidence. I always feel like I am not physically attractive. I realize I am not physically attractive. Sometimes I think this issue hampers my chance of getting into a relationship whatsoever. But apart from my physical condition, I believe I am a good person; I am not a genius or a geek, but I am not lack of intelligence :P I care about people, I pay attention to some details though I also have issues with my brain and its short memory loss, but I am not ignorant or selfish. So I still have some good qualities (Let me brag about myself a bit! lol)

So, for a not-physically-attractive person like me, Twitter is a perfect place to let people know who I really am without being biased about the beauty I don’t possess. I always think that someone is attracted to you for what they see in their eyes. Eyes will send signals to brain and it will be interpreted into some actions; whether to chase or to let go. When this happen, no matter how cool or smart or funny you are, all those things will always be the second, third or tenth things to be considered to start making friends with. So, physical attraction is number one rules to make someone eager to know you better (Well, at least that’s my assumption!).

On that matter, I believe that it’s important to invent something that will distract the work of eyes and indulge the other human senses. Twitter is the perfect tool to do so. At least that’s what I believe :D When I follow people, I usually see their profile, read how they describe themselves in only 140 characters. It will be easier when the person has the same interest like you. Take me as an example, I met lots of awesome friends in Twitter cus we have Grey’s Anatomy and Calzona obsession in common. I opened myself a chance to thousand of Grey’s Anatomy fangirls from all over the world because we ship the same fandom.

This is why I said that Grey’s Anatomy has changed my life and I am thankful for that. I got the chance to be friend with those from England, Philippines, USA, South Africa, Syria, Denmark, Serbia, Ireland, Brazil, Japan, Norway, etc because we pass the awkward introduction by talking things we love about Arizona heelys, Callie’s sexual sorbet or how awesome the music event was. There’s nothing physical about it. We simply talk about something we love and then the conversation is getting much more interesting because we start to know each other and feel ‘comfortable’ to share more personal information about who we are, where we work or study and what are our other interest beside Grey’s Anatomy –something about real life!

Well, we still can choose not to reveal anything. I believe it’s personal decision. But for me, I rarely hide who I really am in Twitter. I always try to be myself. I even feel more at ease to open myself up because they are not people you will meet at work and suddenly blurt all personal things about you to the other colleagues! I feel safe in my pinky bubble. Well, I can not deny, at some point, people will be curious about the face behind the anonymity, but -at least- it is not the first thing they considered when they want to know me.

Twitter gives me the chance to fall for someone’s wicked ideas, interesting thoughts, and point-of-view about life. Gorgeous face will be a great additional item, but save it for the last surprise;) For me, I could care less about the face because when I am really interested to someone, she will all look beautiful in my eyes. It’s not the face anymore; it’s what makes them them. I rarely had a chance to be best friend/ in a relationship with real people in here because their brain failed sending the signal to chase me due to my physical unattractiveness. If only people will listen to what I have in mind, I am pretty sure I am an interesting girl one can ever get :P lmao

There’s so much more I wanna share, but I get too tired. It’s really hard writing in English! Later, I will try to write about the ‘life lessons’ I talked in the beginning of this posting. I might need to quote the words exactly as what my friends said. They deserve the credit of what they said :D