.a letter for myself.


Dear my sentimental side:

I am writing this because I don’t want to fall asleep in a boring workshop. I have always known that you are such a good student, but for this one time, let me take over your life and write this letter to you.

I know how hard you try to find someone to settle down with. I know it’s been years since you’re trying to find peace in life. I know how lonely you feel every freaking night, waiting for someone to embrace you warmly. I also know how you feel when you walk alone in a mall or cinema looking at couples holding hands and sharing laughter. I know how sad you are scrolling your Twitter timeline down and finding your Twitter friends speaking the language of love. The language you are yet understood.

You have been a brave soul for as long as I know you. You open yourself to love people. You let yourself fall for them! Your eyes see good qualities in them and you let your heart be amazed by how wonderful people can be.

You have always been a fighter. You let your heart speak out and express what’s inside it. You give the chance for your mouth to say what’s hidden in your head. You take chances without hesitation though I know deep down you are so freaking afraid to scare them off with your brutally honest feeling. I am the one who knows how fragile your heart really is. I was there when people rejected you. But I always know your heart has never been too tired to love again every time the wrong people tear it apart.

Dear my precious heart,

How could you love others but you simply ignore yourself? How could you let them hurt it so bad when you suppose to protect it? How could you be so stupid to expect love from people who don’t want you to be part of their stories? How could you fight for people who don’t want to fight for you?

I know you want to let them know how special they are to you. I know how loyal you can be. I know how dying you are to be committed to someone. I know how accountable you can be for those who need it. I know how helplessly romantic you are and I know how you care like hell. But you have to be smarter now. There’s time when you have to stop fighting for those who don’t want to fight for you or give you any chances.

I want you to know it’s okay to stop caring about people who care less about you. I love you too much to see you buried yourself in sadness, disappointment and tears.

Let me tell you the one thing I love (and hate!) from you. Every time you fall for someone, you invest 100% of yourself to this person. You expose yourself too much! You let one person define your moods or days. Yes, you are one of the bravest and stupidest people one can be.

Most of the time, I laugh at you for being so stupid. Some other time, I praise you for making us so darn happy.

Do you remember all those nights when we were sleeping with wide smile in the face? Those are happy days! But I can never forget you crawling in the bed crying all alone and have this tendency to hurt yourself!

You have been through all the extreme feelings and it’s good to know that you’re not immune to it. You didn’t close your door to trust new people with your patched heart. But please be good to yourself. I love you so much! You might look for someone to say that to your face, but if you haven’t found one, let me said that to you millions time. Don’t close your ears coz I will keep on saying that to you and your crazy destructive self! Use your brain! Most time your heart is making you acting like a big baby.

There are no fancy words in this letter; it’s just me talking to you! I love you so so much. Stand tall, baby! You will find the right one. Keep on loving people… Keep doing what you love. They will come to you eventually and IF you have to leave Indonesia to be with the person you love, believe me I’ll support you with logical explanation. I will be here to take care of you.

 

Xoxo,

Your sane side!

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<3


  • They said I have this overbearing personality. But you are overbearing my mind! Stop playing inside my mind!
  • What’s <3 ? They said <3 isn’t selfish. But If the thoughts of spending my days with u are my selfish way of wanting u, I am a failure lover.
  • A good friend of mine said that I should stop this feeling for you. But how can I move on when I see no one but you?
  • Someone is MIA and I already miss this person <3
  • I’ll just sleep now cus in my dream you are mine. The reality is cruel, so I’ll just create a happy world of mine:) #twexit
  • My logic is failing me every time I process ‘you’. There’s no logical explanation about that <3
  • It’s hard to impress you. Really hard! I never feel good enough:( Maybe you just don’t wanna be impressed. Maybe I should stop being silly.
  • I’m running 100miles/hour but you’re walking 10miles/hours.I can wait for you in the finish line, but are you heading the same way with me?
  • I am lost in my own hope and expectation. It’s so scary to fall for you! How can you be so irresistible? I can never halt your charms <3
  • I am a mess without you…
  • Set me free,leave me be,I dont wanna fall another moment into ur gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall,just the way I’m supposed to be“-SB
  • You hold me without touch. You keep me without chain. I’ve never wanted anything so much…” – SaraBareilles
  • The best part of the morning is knowing that someone is waiting for you to wake up. #viatumblr
  • I am making an amend; I am physically and emotionally tired:((
  • Emotionally tired:((
  • I’ll just enjoy the company of good music on my player and read a novel before I sleep. Put you only in a small space of my mind.
  • In my dream, I am the reason of your happiness, but in reality, you are my reason of happiness. Dream and reality rarely walk in line :D
  • You are such a beautiful creature and you deserve all the love and happiness in the world. If I can see it, others should also see it <3
  • No matter how hard I try to be with you. The destiny will speak for itself. I did my best to show you I’m worthed. That’s what’s important <3
  • So I’ll let you go now. For good. I’ll seek for the state peace of mind I need <3
  • At some point, you just need to let go. Things are not always in control because there are greater power who controls everything. #SelfTalk
  • Good Twitter friends, Rizzles and you are my #3gratitudes today:) Keep the positive mind, love will come eventually! Patience is virtue! <3
  • People are stupid and just want to be loved. It’s the only reason anybody does anything…” Miranda Bailey
  • I’d like you to take me to dinner. Too much to ask? <3
  • Insecurity is a sign of lack of confidence. I doubt myself that I’m enough for you #SelfTalk
  • Do you find me annoying for being helplessly romantic person? Cus I really don’t know the limit. Being romantic sucks sometimes, baby! #JS
  • I always consider myself as a hopelessly romantic person and will always appreciate romantic gestures #JS
  • At some point of my life, I want to leave Indonesia and live on my own. Far away from here… #SelfTalk
  • Most time I find myself annoying for caring some people too much. Maybe they also find me annoying, so I better slow down now. #twexit
  • I hate tired you, but all the endorphin is rushing in and you’ll feel happy and relax. I love happy-relax you!
  • Darn, I failed the test. I am not a good stalker! lol But I love love love revealing more random things about you <3
  • It’s gonna be a looong day without you!!
  • I love that you’re calling me ‘silly’ in the most sweet way <3
  • Because of you I don’t know how to let anyone else in. #lyrics #nowplaying
  • Most time my insecure feeling triggers me to do some stupid silly things I regret:(
  • I miss you <3
  • Why won’t you leave my thoughts alone? #viatumblr
  • “Having a one-sided love makes me feel so isolated…” #np
  • I suddenly look at a Pjs and remember you
  • I just realized that we share A LOT!! How I Iove sharing with you <3
  • I miss you @twitloger !!!
  • Kinda proud of myself for recording such video… lol
  • Tortoise always reminds me of you!! Funny how we discuss the difference between Tortoise and Turtle lol <3
  • Pursuing my dreams will make me one step closer to you. And that’s the only thing I wanna do. Being closer to you <3
  • You are so easy to fall for. Do your realize that? You make me fall for you. Thousand of miles lies between us and I cant resist your charms.
  • Sara Bareilles’ King of Anything will always remind me of you because I know you remember me every time you hear it. We remember each other!
  • You’ve been fulfilling my head with dreams. You’ve been fulfilling my heart with joyous feelings. If only we could ever be together.
  • Nothing can stop me from thinking about you… How can you be so far away yet remain close to my heart?
  • Luck will leave you ’cause it is a faithless friend” Michael Buble – Hold On
  • It’s not about being who everyone else wants you to be, It’s about being yourself and finding someone who loves every bit of it.”
  • I saw National Geographic Mags and I remember you! Darn!
  • Everywhere I am looking, there’s always you! My eyes really play tricks on me! <3
  • You met thousand of people & none of them really touch you! And then you met one person & your life is changed.. forever!” Jamie – ♥&OtherDrugs
  • .. I have never met anyone who actually BELIEVE THAT I WAS ENOUGH.. till I met you. And you made me believe it, too..” Jamie – ♥&OtherDrugs
  • Another rejection! Life cant be easier on me, I guess… </3
  • Love will always find its way. I believe in love, happiness, and second chances. IF I find the love of my life, I’ll take care of the person.
  • This Saturday is the day to tell the truth! However painful and surreal it is, it’s still the truth. It soothes my feeling in a strange way.